Hot Hot Harvest

By -
I can’t believe its harvest time already. I find it a little peculiar how many men volunteered to help this time. Maybe they thought Helen from Redneck, WY was coming back to give them a few rounds on the sit and spin. (Triming Buds with Benefits, a Love Story.) Sorry fellahs, it’s just me and my whip. 

In previous harvests, my ex-boyfriend and an old Yugoslavian man would come through my basement and have the ladies taken down in two days. Larry started getting wise when we would conveniently “get back together” a few days prior to my harvest. Fortunately for me, he became #1 Asshole when it was time for his harvest, so my scissors stayed packed in their protective sleeve. It got to be that the cycle of my harvest was the cycle of my love life – one month on, two months off.


Today I will prep for tomorrow’s crop out:  sterilize scissors and trays, find disposable gloves, wash out the trim tub, and pull large fan leaves on the first plants to come down. In the morning, I wil make sandwiches, and stock up on high energy drinks (although I may say screw it, and order pizza). Cheech & Chong will be queued on Netflix and seating will be arranged for my new, all male crew. Now I only wish it were raining outside – it’s 87 degrees in Seattle this week. Figures! 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hempy 2014!

By -
Image
I started 2013 with a basement full of weed and an empty bank account. I don’t know of any Seattle growers that actually got rich from growing pot this year. I think a lot of us unemployed corporate types who were laid off saw the opportunity to work for ourselves until the state could figure out what to do with the future of medical and voter approved recreational pot. A year later, the future of  medical marijuana in Washington State is still tenuous.  I have personally witnessed healing in people who use cannabis as medicine and I think it’s a crime that providers have been thrown in jail for helping others. Cannabis IS medicine and we have a God-given right to have access to it. Dispensary “donations” were my main source of income in 2013. I make half of what I used to back in my VC-funded days, but I don’t care. Money is not it. Helping people, and loving what you do on a daily basis where it’s at, man. The meaning of life is to be of service to others. ...
Read more

Coming Out of the Pot Closet

By -
Image
I have to vacuum before my mother arrives from Arizona. I’m 40-something years old and I still want her housekeeping approval. While we’re close, and speak on the phone every week, we haven’t seen each other 1:1 for a while. I’m freaking out because I think she’ll have an aneurysm when I tell her how I’ve been paying my bills the past three years. Garden of Eve The time has arrived for me to come out of the Pot Closet to my mother. How did I get here? I was laid off from my event-planning job while dating a “normal-looking” guy, who owned his own landscaping business. “Larry” also happen to own a basement full of marijuana plants for extra spending money (on prostitutes, as it turns out, but that’s a different blog post). He taught me everything I know about being a Pharmer -- from cloning and transplanting, to providing my babies with the proper nutrients and watering techniques.  I learned a lot – about the miraculous cannabis plant, and about the lying, c...
Read more